'09

The 19-day break is almost over and when I woke up yesterday it's 2009. Now I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere. I'm 26 and this year I'm going to be 27 and it scares the hell out of me! Technically, I'm jobless right now because my job contract ended last December 31. I still have to report to work though, with no pay, until the research study where I am involved gets adequate funding. Who knows when will it be?!

It's hard when you are single, you are professional, and you are penniless. There's a lot that I wanna do but I hold back because I I'm afraid to make wrong decisions and I am so limited. I'm caught between the reality of today and the uncertainty of tomorrow. Why does it have to be this hard?

I want a clean slate! I ought to have a new job. A stable one. A job where I will be properly compensated -- at the right time and with corresponding benefits. One that will allow me to grow professionally and will bring out my full potential. I want a job where I can see myself doing for another 10 years. I'm tired of "stepping-stones."

This is going to be my first major decision this 2009 and I should be able to put things together by the end of January. Time to get a good focus and be decisive.